Story of her life

I have noticed that some people are negative- minded. If they make a comment, they choose to see the negative rather than the positive. I have discovered that such people either grew up in an environment where they were told they will never make it or they were made to believe they would never make it.

It is a phsychological fight that takes place.

I remember a story i was once told. A woman with so much bitterness, that even after the tormenting years, she has failed to accept the change. She is so engrossed in her past that even when she sits down, one notices the pain in her eyes and even the strain in her body language. Given an opportunity to speak, she says she is only here physically, but the inner her has gone far away.


This is her story......

Mary, she got married at eighteen- she was pregnant already in 1984. Her boyfriend married her, but did not manage to pay all the dowry.

She has lived a lifetime of struggle from her narrations.

She told me one of the days of how terrible her years into marriage were.

"I was made to watch the fields 24/7 in case baboons eat the mealies. I was given the outer field so that i am watching the fields. I was married into this home, but even those who wanted to rent some of the fields, were given inner ones. I was pregnant, but all the time i was at the fields. I had to be herding the cattle, i had to be watching the fields, but i was still a wife. My husband was in the city trying to get a job, which he did".

She is all tears all the while. She continues...

"When my husband brought back groceries, my mother-in-law would take them and give me a meagre share. She never gave me soap, so i had to wash my baby's napkins in the river with the sand. Nobody ever felt pity for me".

She tells me she used to go to be woken up as early as 2am to go to the vlei. During those days, she said, there were no boreholes and the vlei usually took time to fill with water. In fact, many people went there earlier for them to get water earlier too. Unfortunately for her, her in-laws did not appreciate this. Despite the fact that the vlei was a good distance away from her home, the in-laws did not assist her in any way. In fact, the water she would bring, they used it for bathing. Each one would take a 20 pitre container for their bath, and yet she needed to carry a single 20 litre container each time. Not just that, they did not want to help her with the child. If she left the baby at home, if the baby cries, it will eventually quieten down with no attention given to it. She said, on many occasions, she has had to make those trips with the baby strapped on her back.

" No one wanted anything to do with me. I was abused by every one. No one regarded me as anything. I was a mere slave".

She wipes a tear...

I can see she is in deep pain. She now has four children two of whom have families of their own. She keeps saying "if this man had told me he doesnt love me, i would have moved on with my life".

You see, she has not been able to forgive this man. She lives in a four roomed cottage, built of durawall material, and she feels betrayed. If the man had dedicated his energy to his family alone, they would have built a house. She complains that she stays "muchikwere" and yet her husband could have afforded to build a home.

She is a hardworking woman, but she has haboured a lot of bitterness in her, she works for her upkeep. She is no longer concerned about building the house. All she waits is for the man to tell her its over and then she can start all over again.

"He can do what he wants, but not to do what he wants with me!" she said.

She has given up on her life.


I dont blame her. She has grown up to develop so much resentfulness on the family that was supposed to protect her.

She continued to get heaps of insults even from her husband's brothers when she now lived in the city. She says they used to get to her house and demand anything that was in the house saying it was their brother's. They would tell her it was their brother who was working so everything was his and theirs.

She was not regarded as anything. Even up to now, she says....

I looked at her as she looked down. Her physical appearance has moulded itself to portray the self pity she has felt all these years. she regretts everything- well probably except her children, but she regrets having lived her entire life with a man bent on betraying her.

She looked up "Ndarwadziwa vasikana" (I am in so much pain).

"I never thought things would turn up like this. Even my body aches because of the abuse I went through in my early marriage years, I am a nobody. I am nothing. Nobody sees me as anybody".

She looks into a distance and the eyes penetrate deep into thought as she does self retrospection.

"My children had to go through rough times because my husband's brothers had to go to school, but not once have they respected me. If I were another woman, i would have refused to allow my children to suffer for my husband's relatives. But I understood family and the need to assist a family member. I allowed myself and my children to suffer for ungrateful people. If only i knew...."

She looked at me. I could feel her pain. I could see the feel of deceipt all over her face. That is what she has been able to exude this whole while I sat down with her.

Sometimes we don't know what we are getting ourselves into unless we are in it.

But it is not about what you go through. It is about how you handle it that matters at the end of the day.

This is the story of a woman whose pains have affected her so much she refuse to hear of God.

She told me "God has forgoten about me. In fact, he has left me to make my own decisions"

This is how bad she feels. She feels betrayed by her husband that even God has 'betrayed her'

I pray that this woman finds it in her heart to forgive her husband and everyone who did anything to hurt her. I call out to my christian friends to please hold hands together and remember this woman in your prayers. Even the word of God does not make any sense to her anymore.

Pray for her to remember that God is still with her. She only need to strecth her hands forth, and he is there. Help pray for her so that her heart might slowly open up and GiVE GOD A CHANCE....

I know there are many of you who feel overwhelmed because of situations in your lives, but do take heart, for God is faithful.

Remember that woman who bled for more than 12 years? she was now tired of her situation but she believed when she heard of Jesus. She believed so much that she felt if only she 'could touch the hem of his garment', she would be healed.

Such is her situation, and yours too, but do take heart and above all believe. If you believe, you will receive.

Hebrews 11 vs 1 "Now faith is the assuarance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen".

Nomatter the situation, God is watcing. Call to him and he will answer.

Dear God, thank you for giving us your son as a sign of your love to us. Thank you for giving us your word as a book of promise. Lord you have given us promises, which promises you have always kept. Please give us a forgiving heart so that when the winds of the devil come, we are able to withstand. Lord help us run away from the vulnerability the devil exposes us to. Thank you for your love for it gives us the strength to face life. Father, nourish us in Jesus mighty name, Amen...,.

Y. Mashie