Everything I have is yours, but...

Have you ever been in a season where you  had so many questions, emotional turbulence and anger?  Have you ever questioned God, questioned his ways, and you even got to a point of a breakdown?

Yes, I want to talk to you today so that you appreciate that many of us have gone through that season, and if not handled well, it affects relationships -  your immediate family members, work colleagues, neighbors. You become highly irritable, angry, you are capable of releasing terrible words even to well meaning people.

It is in times like these that for others, the easy escape route is taking drugs, alcohol, destroy furniture or at worst commit suicide or homicide. Crimes of passion in marriages have taken place due to the anger that comes from a feeling of betrayal by a spouse. 

There is that anger, bitterness that eats through you to a point of sickening you. You begin to tell God what to do, how to do it, when to do it and why He should do it.

I know because I was in such a season once where I kept in prayer. Talking to the Lord, asking him, telling him what to do, ordering him around, and judging his people. But the Lord, as faithful as he is always, in our good or bad times, spoke to me in a manner that helped me to shift my thought process. He reminded me that my ways are not His ways, and that my thoughts are not His thoughts. I was flustered. What did God mean? Was how I felt not justified?

Of course the bible tells us to be angry but not to allow the sun to go down in our anger lest we sin(Ephesians 4: 26-27) 

The Dictionary defines anger as a 'strong feeling of annoyance, displeasure or hostility.'

This strong feeling does not just happen, it is a build up of small emotions held on the inside of a person over a period of time, only to be poked in a final straw incident. So when issues are not dealt with as and when they happen, they cause deep pains. Or when issues are discussed and one feels an injustice, this emotion can continuously lead one to have an attitude towards the other.

Sometimes, our anger is spurned when our expectation on a person is dashed. When our mindset sets a moral high standing on someone and they falter, or when we feel a person must be punished for whatever sin they have committed. 

But in all my thinking and questioning God, he made me to read the following scripture and identify myself in it.

Luke 15:25 "Meanwhile, the older son was in the field. When he came near the house, he heard music and dancing. 26 So he called one of the servants and asked him what was going on. 27 'Your brother has come,' he replied, 'and your father has killed the fattened calf because he has him back safe and sound.'  

28 "The older brother became angry and refused to go in. So his father went out and pleaded with him. 29 But he answered his father, 'Look! All these years I've been slaving for you and never disobeyed your orders. Yet you never gave me even a young goat so I could celebrate with my friends. 30 But when this son of yours who has squandered your property with prostitutes comes home, you kill the fattened calf for him!' 

31 "'My son,' the father said, 'you are always with me, and everything I have is yours. 32 But we had to celebrate and be glad, because this brother of yours was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.'"NIV

We are Christians, but at times we forget that our main goal is to win souls for God. When one messes us up, we want them to be punished and suffer and be cast away from our midst yet it is our obligation to pray for them so that they realise their error and come back to God. To repent, seek forgiveness and be accepted back into the family. Sometimes we even plead on their behalf, yet when they do repent, we seem less prepared for the consequences of our prayers

Many of us are like the elder brother of this prodigal son. Faithful to the father, working diligently and keeping to doing all the right things. We want the father to bless us, alone. When the one who comes back seems to be getting the favour, we feel that our loyalty to God has not been rewarded. All our efforts at being in all the right places at the apportioned time, suddenly do not seem rewarded because someone has received a party for being disloyal. Doesn't seem fair right?

But God is telling us that we have no reason to be down cast. He tells the elder son to rejoice for his brother who was dead, is alive again, he was lost and has been found. We shouldn't worry about what we ought to get, we already have it all! We do not lack because all that is of the father is ours. So we must rejoice instead. There is always room for a person to change even if they have wondered. 

God is a compassionate father. He does not have a reason to punish anyone. A contrite heart and broken spirit God does not despise. Who are we to despise? Who are we to judge? God deals with his people in a manner that pleases him. We are however reminded that "My son,...you are always with me, and everything I have is yours."