Angry with God?

You see, each time I sit to reflect on my life, I find that there is a huge gap. I will say that I have not been the worst person to live on earth, morally that is.

But my relationship with God has been rather stagant. One of my pastors once told me "You are angry with God".

This was the most shocking statement but one i have had to ponder on for some time.

It is not the statement, but the thought that I could be angry with God.

I have tried to sit down and think why I, a mortal, would be angry with my creator?

You see, it is not about being really 'angry' as in shouting at him and stuff, but it is the behavioural traits.

I was just going through the paces and thinking exactly how I could have been angry.

This is what I figured;

I had a great relationship with God that not talking to him was torturous. I could actually feel weak. It is like when you love someone, you just want to keep in constant touch with them so that you know how they are doing, what they have eaten, down to the littlest thing they did. And this was not happening.

I was miles and miles away from God and this was making me scared.

God has laid foundations for you. He has built the walls for you. He has done everything, but you are not stepping in.

I want that relationship back. I want to walk with God. I want God to guide my feet, just as he did, Joseph before me. Just as he did David before me. Just as he did Elija, before me. I want God to take the first step.

I want to feel his closeness.

When i look back, i feel i have indeed taken for granted his love and my closeness to him. I took it as a normal thing to be that close.

It is.

But the devil is watching, and he would like you to be that close to him as well. It is in these times when we relax that the devil moves in.

I am convinced that thats what happened. A lot of things began to happen. I became weary. I lost touch and eventually, I lost interest even in praising God.

This is the worst thing that happens in a christian's life. You should never allow yourself to be led into such.

It is important for one to take stock of where you are at.

This moment, take a look into your life and take stock of were you are. The more you reflect, the more you learn.

Heavenly father, thank you for giving me an opportunity to look into my life. thank you for exposing me to your love, for nothing can surpas this love. Thank you for your guidance. Thank you for your word, for it is by this that we live. Father continue to guide us through your holy spirit and your son. In Jesus name, Amen.

Y Mashie