There is a certain tendency of sin to blind a person into ignoring the sins we commit on a daily basis, and because we have not been found out, we think it is alright.
I have been or rather, am in one such scenario myself. One that has sort of shaken me to say, what are you doing Yvonne?
The small meeting I had with a work colleague brought me back to reality, and the fact that I had to put a straight face and lie, really made me sit down and ask questions.
I remember an earlier encounter with one of my pastors a while ago, and how I had lied that I had become disinterested in so many things after a rough patch in one of my relationships. I have felt bad, but not enough to stir me to action. Right now, I feel like having to make one of the toughest decisions i have ever made, only I need to make it in the right direction. I want out of this fuss of a relationship, i just have to get away from it, for not just my sake, but his too.
He has a family, he is a good person, we click, but i have told him that we can not be more than friends, but he doesn't want to buy that. So, at the end of it all, I am stuck in a relationship I should not have gotten myself into in the first instance.
I am in a state right now where I have asked God where he was all the time - but has he not been around?
He has. it is I that decided to move away from his glory.
But today, I have made a decision to walk away, to keep my distance and to take in whatever words or pleadings that are going to come out of it. It is only right that one lives a life without feeling like a hypocrite.
Lord Jesus, I seek redemption from you, and I seek the strength from you that the decision i made be guided by you to ensure that I live a life for you. Lord, I have sinned against you, and I have taken a wrong turn, but I seek your name Lord, I seek your face, that you forgive me and create in me a clean and new heart. Father lord, i pray that at the end of it all, may your name be honoured and glorified, in Jesus name, amen.
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