The irony of life

I am going through a book called “When God doesn’t make sense” by Dr James Dobson, and I tell you I have felt my spirits lifted. Somehow, the concepts he brings to life are not only true, but they are real. I have never felt so compelled to re-visit my faith, my beliefs and my everyday life.

You see, there are moments as humans were we have failed God. We have managed to do everything that God doesn’t represent.

In times when we have all things, we honor and praise God. But when we are faced with a challenge, we start to backslide. Or rather, when we have nothing we honour and praise God sincerely, but the moment we are blessed, we lose our focus, and we cut ourselves from the vine.

In an article I wrote sometime back “Angry with God?” I was exploring the possibility that I could be angry with God because of the ways I have acted. I might not necessarily be the most immoral person around, and I might not have committed murder, but the idea of staying away from everything God represents is not only disastrous, but it is the most hollowing feeling one gets to carry for a long time. I might be one privileged person who has had to live in this realization that it is either we trust in God no matter the circumstances or we fall into our doom and gloom. Our actions thereof may show that we are angry with God.

On my way from Mavingo to Harare on 3 October 2009

Our life is one puzzle that we could never comprehend. God did not just make us, he made us. He took his time to consult and say “let us make a man in our own image”. with everything else, he merely commanded, but with man, he made.

I can imagine God on his knees, really molding the dagga on the ground, designing this glorious creature saying “wow, this has got to be the final and most important creature”

I can imagine the love, the passion and even the excitement that God had when he was making the first man. I can imagine the pride he had, such that he took his own breath, and breathed life into this clay he had molded. I can imagine God with the brown clay in his hands, sticking on his fingers and getting all dirty, saying this creature is just magnificent. It is a replica of me!

I remember when my brother’s wife was in labour. She held my hand and said “auntie, please pray for me”. The pain in her voice pained me so much a tear dropped.

As I walked out and tried to talk to the nurses to check on her, I was just feeling I should be here.

But at this clinic, one could not be with his wife during birth, and had to wait until the next visiting hour to see her.

I remember her mother seated outside the clinic, waiting for that one hour to come so she could be by her daughter’s side.

It was this love that kept the mother there even from outside, it was this love that I felt compelled to contact even my pastor to pray for her with me, it was this love that my brother dropped a tear when he heard the child was now out. It was this love that made me jump when my brother’s wife called and said “Kabuda tete” (she has come out)

I am imagining, our human joy, our love, as imperfect as it is, compelling us to stick with her in spirit and trying to think of God at this particular moment, when his mould was shaping up. When he had finished, looked at the mould, washed his hands, stood back awhile and scrutinized his making, went back to fix this and that, stand back again and nodded.

I can imagine the love, excitement and passion God had when his hands were now clay-free and he was there and saying “this is it”.

He breathed his breath into this clay, and it came about alive. Imagine the joy!!!

He is God, but he has love.

He is God, but he is liberal

He is God, he is jealous, but he is tolerant

He is God and he is amazing.

Anyway, going through this book by Dr Dobson made me realize that God loves us so much that he allows certain things to happen to us not because he wants to see us cry, but because he wants to see us strong, convicted, convinced and determined.

He does not want to see the pain, but he knows, after birth, we shall all rejoice.

We shall shed a tear of joy.

So, do not think God has forsaken you when events look sour, he is there. The pain you are having, he is feeling it too. But sticking to him brings ultimate joy, which earthly pain can not surpass.

Trust in the Lord all the time. Jesus died not because he wanted, but because it was God’s will.

“Greater love has no one than this, than to lay down one’s life for his friends” John 15 v. 13

So be true to God, as he is true to you….

THIS THOUGHT STRUCK ME EARLIER WHEN I WAS JUST STARING AT THIS MACHINE IN THIS OTHERWISE EMPTY ROOM DOING A BIT OF VIDEO EDITING..

There is a feeling that I carry
A feeling inexplicable
A feeling one is concerned so much about
A feeling that just makes me too conscious of what I do
A feeling hardly visible

I have felt like this
And I have prayed about it
But the more I look deep, the more confused I get
I thought I would sink, but only God knows I keep afloat
I thought I would faint, but the closer I get to faint, the more vitalized I feel
The thought of dying comes through,
But the strength of life gets through

The idea of sinking comes up
But the momentous swim comes through

The more I trudge along,
The more the darkness closes in
As I chase after the light, which looks but miles afar
As I run forward, the less the light I see
The nearer the light seems, the furthest it is from within reach
And to think I thought it was easy

To think I thought it was all for me
To think I thought I could comprehend all
To think I thought I could fight it off and win,

Oh how disillusioned I have been
How lost I feel now
But the weaker I grow, the stronger I become
The vaguer it becomes, the clearer it becomes
The more painful it gets, the more rewarding it feels
The more confusing it is, the more my eyes see
The more my ears learn, the more my heart discerns

Why all has to happen in an opposite way?
It never ceases to boggle my mind
How enchanting life is,
How mesmerizing life is,
How ‘lifeful’ life is

Oh, the irony of life….